


New Science

by LemonBubble



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, sort of background cecilos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonBubble/pseuds/LemonBubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new scientist comes to Night Vale. Carlos is delighted to meet someone new from the outside world. It doesn't go like he hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Science

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for [this prompt](http://nightvalecommunitykink.dreamwidth.org/822.html?thread=504118): "Another group of scientists arrives in Night Vale, and Carlos is happy to welcome his new colleagues, right up until he gets to talking with them and they all insist that the universities he attended and the cities he has lived in prior to Night Vale are all as fictional as Svitz and Luftnarp."

“A new man came into town today. He says his name is Li and that he is a scientist. When told by Mayor Pamela Winchell ‘No thanks, we already have one.’ Li said that it never hurts to have more than one scientist. Everyone just sort of shrugged at that, because he had a point. Of course, we have no reason to believe he is telling the truth, but so far there have been no reports of injuries or deaths caused by a surplus of scientists. Carlos, lovely Carlos, said he was very interested in meeting this new scientist and that someone should have told him about it earlier. He said this just now, in a text I have just received. He also asks where he can meet this ‘Li’ guy and would I please stop reading all his texts on air. Well, listeners in general and Carlos in specific, Li the scientist said he and his team were renting a lab across from the Arby’s and that they would welcome any input the community could provide.

“No government agents from a vague yet menacing government agency were seen following the new scientists because, according to this note I have just been handed, the entire agency recently discovered the endless terror that is the sky and they ‘just don’t care any more. What is the point of doing anything now?’

“And now, a word from our sponsors.”

-

Carlos headed over to the new lab across from the Arby’s eagerly. He was looking forward to meeting people from… well, he hesitated to think of it as “the real world”, that brought up too many questions about whether Night Vale was, in fact, real or not, but there was definitely some separation in his mind between Night Vale and the rest of the world. These new scientists would be the first outsiders Carlos had seen in over a year. On top of that, they were scientists too! Other people who would be able to see just how strange this town was. He knocked on the door and was let inside.

“Hi, I’m Carlos the scientist.” He said, before realising that wasn’t the proper way to introduce himself outside of Night Vale. “Er, I mean, I’m Doctor Carlos Mendoza.”

“Doctor Li Song, very pleased to meet you.” The other man, Dr. Song apparently, said, grinning and shaking Carlos’ hand. He had an accent that Carlos couldn’t quite place. It was distinctly American, but there was an unfamiliar twang to it that he had never heard before. “I was told at the… town meeting, I think, that I should meet you. Was that a town meeting? It just sort of… happened.”

“Yeah, that happened to me too when I first arrived. Everyone just seems to _know_ when it’s time to gather somewhere. You’ll get used to it.” Carlos said, nodding. It was actually one of the less unusual things about the town, and certainly the most harmless. “If there’s anything I can help you with, I’m based at the lab next door to Big Rico’s.”

“Ah, yes, actually, a friendly older lady at the meeting told me to ask you about, er, surviving. She said you were the local expert on ‘being an outsider and not dying’. She also stole my pen and stomped on it.” Dr. Song said with a slight frown. Carlos smiled. That sounded like something Josie would do.

“Of course, surviving.” He started, trying to remember all the things he did habitually now. “Well, first of all, listen to the radio, it will save your life _at least_ once. Get rid of all your pens, pens are illegal. All wheat and wheat by-products are illegal too, so I hope you didn’t bring any bread with you. A lot of things are illegal.” He paused and glanced around the room before dropping to a whisper. “Please tell me you brought bread with you, I haven’t had real bread for so long.” Dr. Song, who was looking at Carlos like he was mad, shook his head.

“Why would wheat be illegal?” He asked.

“There was… an incident.” Carlos said with a disappointed sigh. “I’ll tell you about it later. Uh what else… oh, never be unarmed. _Ever._ ”

“Is this town really that dangerous?” Dr. Song asked, his expression now a mixture of nerves and confusion.

“You have no idea.” _And you’ll be lucky if you survive the month_ , Carlos added silently.

“Are you armed now?”

“Heavily.” Carlos said with a nod. “Also, I would recommend taking up a martial art if you don’t already know one. Combat sudoku is a good place to start.”

“Combat… sudoku.” Dr. Song said slowly. He seemed like he was about to say more about it before changing his mind. “So, Dr. Mendoza, where did you study?”

“Miskatonic,” Carlos said with a shrug. “How about you?”

“Miskatonic?” Dr. Song asked, sounding slightly pleased.

“Yeah, Miskatonic University. In Arkham.”

“And where is, ah, _Arkham_?” He asked, sounding amused, like he was playing along with a child’s made up story.

“In Massachusetts?” Carlos said, like it was obvious, which it was. Surely everyone had heard of Miskatonic University?

“And where is this Massachusetts place, hm?”

“You’re kidding, right? Where did you say you studied?” Carlos asked, incredulous.

“New Nanjing University.” Dr. Song sounded smug.

“Which is in…?”

“New Nanjing, of course.”

“In… China?” Carlos asked hesitantly. He was trying not to assume, but the man was clearly of Asian descent and the university sounded vaguely Chinese.

“In _America._ ” Dr. Song corrected. “How could you not know that? Honestly, Dr. Mendoza, it _is_ one of the top universities in the country.” He paused and seemed to come to some conclusion. “I think we both know what’s going on here.”

“You’re going to have to fill me in, because I have no idea.” Carlos said, shrugging helplessly. He had honestly hoped that new outsiders would be _less_ confusing to talk to.

“Clearly, you’ve been in Night Vale far too long. It’s gotten into your head, confusing your memories of the rest of the world. I mean, really, what kind of a ridiculous name is ‘Massachusetts’, that is _obviously_ a made up place. Your insistence that it’s real is probably some side effect of being in such a strange town for so long.” Dr. Song looked pleased with himself. He pulled out a notebook and highly illegal pen and started scribbling something down in an unfamiliar alphabet. “Of course, it’s just a hypothesis, but from what I’ve heard of this town it seems entirely possible, don’t you think?”

“Er. Yeah.” Carlos said, completely lost.

“I suspect a few days out of town would fix the problem. Try it sometime and tell me what happens?” Dr. Song finished, with a smile.

“Sure. Absolutely. See you, er, around.” Carlos said, and quickly left.

-

“So, did you meet the new scientist?” Cecil asked when Carlos got back that evening. “I don’t think he’ll do a very good job, his hair isn’t nearly perfect enough for proper Science.”

“I met him.” Carlos said, folding onto the couch next to Cecil. “He’s completely mad.”

“Oh?” Cecil said, looking up from his weekend edition of the imaginary newspaper. “He’ll fit right in then.”

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with a lot of headcanons for this, which boil down to Night Vale being a stable point linking many different realities. Any outsider could be from any of the realities and Li Song is from an alternate history where Asia was the major world conquering power instead of Europe. American history is still basically the same except with the Chinese Empire instead of the British Empire.
> 
> This turned out longer than I expected it to.
> 
> Yup.


End file.
